He’s always wore sketchers. Like since he was 4. Recently, he got really emotionally taking about shoes he wanted for middle school. He said if he doesn’t get Nikes he’s going to get teased. Great fucking marketing work Nike.

  • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Kids are very materialistic.

    When I was in middle school, I was probably the worst for me with the bullying. I came from a family that didn’t have a whole lot of money. Like even the cheap stuff we had to cut corners with. And well I was fully aware, that there was no real difference between what I had and what they had, it didn’t stop the consistent bullying. And the teachers never cared. The other students didn’t care in fact some of them would chime in too. And when that’s your life for several hours a day 5 days a week… You eventually just get to a breaking point.

    I’ll never forget the day I basically had a complete emotional breakdown because we were doing back to school shopping at Target, and I saw one of those trapper keepers. With a weird designs on the outside. They were all the rage. And it was like eight bucks I think. My mom did end up buying it for me, but only because her soon-to-be 5th grader, collapsed in the isle crying. I don’t remember what I told her, but all I could think about was having that was going to make life just a little bit easier for me.

    Kids can be real assholes to other kids.

  • Auth@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    My school everyone wore the same uniform. The only choice we could make was shoes or sandals 99.9% chose shoes. Sandal wearers got so much shit for it. It was a death sentence.

  • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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    Teach your kid to kick some teeth out with his Skechers. I have a feeling that your kid is going to get bullied no matter what he wears.

  • GoddessGundy@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Man sketchers are awesome. I have a pair that I’ve re-bought consistently for years because they were the perfect fit, comfy, and were nondescript. Now they’ve discontinued them so I have to see if I can order them online.

    I remember when I was kid though. We always had hands-down, goodwill, and k-mart clothes. But one of my Pop’s jobs was a janitor at the “rich” school district and he’d watch the lost and found box and wait for the shit he brought in to expire.

    Once it was in the bin for more than a month it got “donated”. Half of that stuff went to the kids of the people that worked there. My brothers and I being some of them. So Pops scored me a pair of Air Nike when Jordan was at the height of his career.

    Wouldn’t you know it? One dude on the play ground had to ask why I was wearing a Walmart T-shirt while wearing Nike shoes. Seriously, kids are fucking brutal.

    I learned long before that that I was “poor” so I learned how to play it off and flipped the script. “Are you that superficial that you give a shit? It never even occurred to me to look at what you’re wearing but now that I am, all you are is a wigger” (slur for a wannabe in my era/location). He left me alone the rest of our school career.

    I’m in my forties now but somewhere in my thirties he hit me up on Facebook and apologized for being a little shit. Turns out he had a bit of a crush on me and that’s how he showed it amongst other reasons. He was newly divorced when he reconnected with me so I had to turn him down (that the only reason you’re apologizing, dude?) but he was much nicer about everything this time.

    Kids can be nasty but many of them grow up. Anytime you can stand up to adults in front of your kids it’s teaching them how to stand up to their own peers. Show them every example you can of how to handle what they’re dealing with. How you stand up to your family, friends, and peers, is how your kids learn how to do the same thing.

    You can’t buy yourself out of bullying. Even rich kids get bullied. Confidence in yourself and empathy for others are a far better lesson to teach the next generation.

  • greedytacothief@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 days ago

    One of my good runner friends (3000+ miles a year and owns 100+ pairs of shoes) is the biggest sketchers fans I know of. Apparently their good running shoes aren’t even cheap anymore, like $110+.

    I imagine these kids aren’t wearing super shoes anyway, or else they would know the puma’s are faster

    • TheCleric@lemmy.org
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      I think that says more about inflation than Skechers. Even cheap shoes are expensive now.

  • BigTrout75@lemmy.worldOP
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    Yeah, I agree! Sadly the days of fighting back are over. I have faith he can scrap is needed

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    6 days ago

    Look up cost of living back during the time you are thinking about and what the money used to be worth back then I guess

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    6 days ago

    I blame the parents and schools for not doing anything about bullies and teasing. I was in the trenches as a kid, I remember all the Jack Shit they did back then.

  • Wren@lemmy.world
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    Congrats, there’s a good chance you just bought into being part of the problem. Your son is probably now a card-carrying member of the group that teases other kids for being less than.

    • AreaSIX @lemmy.zip
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      Is that why Apple has got the US by the balls because people want to avoid the dreaded green bubble in iMessage? I’m not from the US so that might be me misunderstanding the situation, but I’ve been told that even many adults in the US view that as a valid reason to avoid anything that’s not an iphone, because of some social stigma attached to the green bubble.

      • Novaling@lemmy.zip
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        5 days ago

        Green bubble shaming is real and I felt it in middle school but more so in highschool from my own softball team. Hated that shit, but I loved my Moto g7 play so those bitches can fuck themselves.

      • AA5B@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        As an American I’m still not convinced.

        Apple successfully sold themselves as a better choice, the “in”thing - to adults. Most adults I know have iPhones and the ones who don’t seem self-conscious about it. It might have partly to do with Android phones originally sold as the budget alternative. We’re the shallow ones.

        Kids can take their cues from adults: they see iPhones as the “better”, more desired choice. But also take it to the next level, with teasing and bullying.

        I find it hard to believe anyone cares about the color of text bubbles, especially since kids don’t use iMessage, despite all the media making that claim. It’s just an excuse, but the social stigma is real

      • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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        You can call it social stigma but it’s really just that there’s more you can do when texting someone else with an apple phone. A lot of the time the same messaging has a totally different vibe than when both people are on iPhones. Things can be lost in context etc.

        • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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          Some of that has disappeared with RCS support, fortunately.

          But yes, Apple successfully positioned their texting app as a rich formatted chat app when used between iPhone users, behaving more like WhatsApp or KakaoTalk or other chat apps than like traditional texting. But when messaging people without iPhones, it was just standard texting (worse, since they would degrade the quality of MMS images more than necessary, as I understand). To the uninformed, this seemed like everyone else were the ones lagging behind. “How could your phone be any good? Images you send are terrible. I can’t name chats that have you in it. If I react to your messages it spams the group chat.” Etc.

          Brilliant, but absolutely evil, move by Apple. Unfortunately it worked. The only reason I use an iPhone today is that years ago I got tired of being left out of conversations and media sharing by my family and my wife’s family, who all use iPhones. So when my OnePlus 7T Pro 5G McLaren Edition died an early, watery death (rest in peace, king among phones) and nothing else really wowed me in the Android space at the time, I bit the bullet and went to the dark side. I enjoy the iPhone, but I’m still bitter about why I got it.

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      When I was a kid, there was a phase where everyone was obsessed with red flannel. Went on for like 3 months.

      Imagine a pro dominantly black/Latino school in the hood where we’re all dressing up like Al Borland from Home Improvement.

    • SphereofWreckening@lemmy.world
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      It’s both. Kids suck and can be clique-like over the dumbest things. But these corporations also realize the amount they can make when their brand is a “status symbol”, and they purposely market around that.

    • Maeve@kbin.earth
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      Because they learn from their families, usually. I remember the uppercrust side of my family kicking dirt from a family member’s grave onto his second wife’s grave. So classy.

  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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    8 days ago

    I got teased for my shoes. I got better shoes, I got teased for my jacket, I got a better jacket. So then they just made shit up to tease me about.

    I saw the fucker that bullied me relentlessly for all three years in middle school about 10 years later. He was pounding stakes in the ground setting up for a carnival. He stopped me in apologized which was kind of surprising. I gave him an absolutely hollow but convincing thanks and what about my day.

    I did a little light internet stalking, turns out he’s vocal that can’t keep a job, construction companies fire him for “no reason” and he’s now down to whatever local company will hire him for physical labor. The only truly sad part is he has multiple children with multiple women and will not own up to any of them.

    Though, I really suppose I owe a lot of who I am to the hell he put me through. Insults mean fuck all to me and I can ignore stress in a bad situation and make solid decisions.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      7 days ago

      The kid who bullied me relentlessly in middle school had an extremely unique name. I’ve been following his career since as he’s been listed in news articles for being arrested for increasingly severe crimes, most recently being described as the kingpin of a car theft ring. Glad to know he’s been quite successful in his career so far with credentials like that!

    • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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      My grade school bully is serving life in prison for attempted double homicide. IIRC he’s also a sex offender.

      Obviously the decisions he made as an adult are his responsibility, but honestly I feel bad for him. He didn’t have much of a chance. His home life was terrible, and he took it out on those around him. He had no positive role models in his daily life besides those at his school, who were always punishing him because he couldn’t conform to a world utterly foreign to his own where people weren’t constantly shitty to one another, and the school didn’t have any better idea how to handle him. The kid had no support. His father was in and out of jail/prison, his mother was overwhelmed. He fell through the cracks.

      It’s no surprise he turned out a piece of shit.

      That doesn’t excuse his actions. Plenty of people come from difficult origins and are good people leading decent lives.

      But I do pity him.

  • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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    8 days ago

    Did you try to teach him to be proud of his independence and differences? Maybe you can work with him on nice come backs against the teasing.

    • ElderReflections@fedia.io
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      As far as I remember (25 years ago), this doesn’t work. Kids just don’t appreciate witty comebacks

        • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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          7 days ago

          When I first got a girlfriend in highschool this one kid was teasing me for it so I flipped it and said “hey at least I have a girlfriend” I hit him so hard where it hurts that he actually never bullied me again and he actually tried to be my friend for a bit

      • arrow74@lemmy.zip
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        8 days ago

        I avoided bullying in school by being fucking oblivious. It was effective.

        Maybe that could be taught

    • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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      Oh man it’s like every out of touch bad advice I was given as a kid came back.

      • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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        Being proud of your independence and difference is bad advice? What’s your world like then, submitting and following others?

        • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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          Yeah let’s be proud of his independence by promoting him to make choices such as what shoes he wears.

          The kid wants something so he can practice the art of being social and fitting in. You are not enriching their lives by giving them the answer without letting them work it out and come to their own understanding.

    • dil@lemmy.zip
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      Comebacks dont matter when you can just point at the shoes and call him broke (im not a teen anymore but come on guys lol, thats when you fit in to avoid issues or have issues, no magical way out)

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        There is a way out, but it involves not caring what classmates think. That’s a high bar for a lot of kids, especially in middle school. Kids have to come to that conclusion on their own. No amount of adults telling them “you shouldn’t care” will change things.

        By high school I found social success after not caring what others thought. But I had been bullied my whole school experience up til that point, so by high school I had run out of fucks to give. In other words, I learned the hard way, but that’s something every teen has to figure out for themselves.

        • QuizzaciousOtter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Is it even possible to not care at this age though? At this point school and interacting with your peers is a vast majority of your life. I don’t think I have ever seen a kid being bullied every day at school and not caring. How can you not care if you’re scared?

          I guess it is possible as you get older, more mature and closer to adulthood. But for a kid in a primary or middle school? Kinda hard to imagine for me.

          • Soggy@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            I was always a weird kid and had gotten tired of most if my peers in elementary school, so when the cruelty ramped up in middle school I was already ignoring most of what was said or done around me. Most of the fighting was wannabe gang shit so it was easy to avoid. There was a guy I would have punched in the mouth, when he threw a book I was reading in a urinal, but he was quite literally twice my size.

          • snooggums@lemmy.world
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            8 days ago

            Yes, if they have already figured out how to handle bullies in grade school/middle school. Early grade school there was a bully who picked on me and my older brother helped out. By grade five I was the one helping other kids who were being bullied.

            A lot of credit goes to youth groups like 4-H for helping to build self confidence and how to care for others. May have been lucky getting a solid local group though.

          • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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            Oh, it’s absolutely possible, but only after experiencing such abuse and isolation that you come to prefer your own company.

            The last straw for me came when I finally stood up to my so-called “best friend,” who acted perfectly sweet when we were alone, but who threw me under the bus whenever my bullies were around. Our families were (and sadly, still are) friends, so I’d known her since she was born and there was a lot of social pressure for us to hang out together. She abused me constantly and loved to fuck with my head. I figured that if that was the “best” friend I could have, then I didn’t need friends at all. One day on the bus home, shortly after she’d spread yet another rumor about me, I called her a traitor and a backstabber.

            She immediately turned to the bullies sitting behind us (whose hobbies included talking about me, stealing my stuff, and putting gum in my hair) and said, “That’s so funny! She just called me a traitor!” Yep, I was done.

            That was in my last year of middle school. Going into high school, I was resolved to not give a fuck what anybody said about me. I decided to stop trying to change myself to fit in. I embraced my own interests without a care what anybody would say.

            And that first year of high school was when I ended up making actual, real friends for the first time. People who actually get me. The payoff was huge and still benefits me today, but it came at a great cost during my most impressionable age.

        • pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world
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          7 days ago

          The trick is not to care most of the time. Then the day you start caring and throwing punches they’re not prepared

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        I don’t know about now, but back in the 90s the magical out was that you punched them in the face.

        Back then the concept of a school shooting didn’t exist, and parents didn’t threaten to sue the school every 5 minutes.

        So teachers would just let the fights go.

        “Oh, Billy tried bullying Bobby, and now Bobby punched Billy in the face? Eh…call me when they break bones and spill blood. I’m going to go make popcorn.”

        These days? I’m sure both kids would get expelled.

        • Delphia@lemmy.world
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          Yep. I was poor and weird but I was also 6 foot tall and pretty big. Its amazing what one really good punch to the face of someone does to your rep for the rest of high school.

        • dil@lemmy.zip
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          7 days ago

          The kids that dont ocassionally crash out to defend themselves are the ones ppl watch as schoolshooters like the ones that never defended themselves growing up and just simmer, the quiet ones

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      8 days ago

      But it’s not “his independence” if it wasn’t his choice to buy those shoes. You cannot be proud of your own choices when they weren’t your own choices.

      • NotNotMike@programming.dev
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        That’s actually a really good point you’ve made here. It’s easy to defend the shoes as a parent because you’re the one who (1) understands the rationale behind buying them and (2) made the decision to buy them

        I wonder if a good decision in this scenario is to just give the child a shoe allowance and let them pick. If they want Nike’s they will have to find a pair that fits the budget

        • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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          8 days ago

          Kids this age are able to pexress what they want. While he probably didn’t at 4, it’s possible he agreed or even asked for the last ones he got.

      • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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        8 days ago

        I guess he had more than one pair and he could have been asking for the last ones.

    • dil@lemmy.zip
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      8 days ago

      he could be but hes gonna get roasted for sketchers til college probably

  • 5in1k@lemmy.zip
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    Happened to me. Got Nikes, got teased because they were not a good enough model. Kids are monsters.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Yup. Learned that one back in the 3rd grade. This stuff is hard if you’re not experienced enough to know how people work.

      On the upside, I learned that one cannot buy their way into other’s good graces, especially if they’re going to require you to modify your behavior to get there; they’re lying and that was never the issue. On the downside: holy shit that hurts once it goes wrong the first time.

      As an adult I can also appreciate that there are situations where you can “buy your way in” to a club or status of some sort. IMO, those situations are generally not worth it to begin with, requiring an never-ending stream of cash to keep up appearances. Plus, it surrounds you with other people that also believe, and are invested, in the program. It’s a recipe for elitism at best, and a big 'ol grift at worst. Better friends and relationships can be had for $0 everywhere else.

    • laranis@lemmy.zip
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      Yeah, he’s not getting made fun of for his shoes. They’re just a convenient target of ridicule. Son is about to learn a life lesson.

      I’m sorry. People are shit.