Boomer Humor Doomergod

Just needed a little bit of patience and a whole lotta Google Translate

Thanks now I’m having flashbacks

If you think German C is bad imagine Czech PHP.

Had to refactor an entire custom Magento plugin written in it.

As someone who sits in on those calls as a sales engineer, I wish I could interrupt the weird kabuki dance of all this and say “These guys are clearly not a fit and we are all wasting time.”

But I have bills and honestly I’m probably commenting here because I checked out as soon as the screenshare started and I could turn my camera off without anyone noticing.

Please don’t ask me anything because I’ll just say you broke up and I need you to repeat the question so I can bullshit an answer.

A CIA-endorsed tactic for fighting fascism is calling a lot of pointless meetings.

Struggle requires sacrifice.

Usually it’s to help a customer create a proof of concept going so we can make a sale so it’s not entirely a selfless act.

Plus it keeps me from sitting on hours-long calls trying to walk them through ambiguous instructions.

I structure my tutorial docs (I write a lot of them for work) like the O’Reilly cookbook series for this reason.

The problem you’re trying to solve is at the top. Next comes a list of prerequisites for the instructions. Then clear, step-by-step instructions with no more than one command or action for each one, highlighting anything that’s different depending on environment.

Then at the bottom I’ll sometimes add a discussion of why each command does what it does, and finally a list of resources for whatever programs or systems the instructions are about.

I was thinking more like the legendary Bill Atkinson

Ultimate dev: Removes 2,000 lines of code, works an order of magnitude faster.

I’ve worked in enterprise software the better part of a decade and if there were security concerns about container escapes they wouldn’t be so widely used.

Clearly the greatest form of government ever devised by men and not some stupid continuation of the Roman judicial system.

RIP Aaron Swartz

And the best part is the Ruby way accounts for leap years.

Yeah, but for one-off scripts that solve small problems it’s way better.

Add HTTParty for API calls and that’s like 90% of what I use Ruby for.

As a Ruby fan I’m just happy to be included for a change

Gitlab has an online web editor and can be self hosted.

(Though it’s a bit of a resource hog)

Some plex audiobook clients like Prologue for iOS have this built in

I thought the spoof was charming and funny

Instructions unclear, ran off into the woods and ignored everyone

“I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed”